It’s been really helpful for me to remember lately that emotions process in 90 seconds. If we don’t work ourselves up, and just allow ourselves to feel what we’re feeling without launching into finishing the story (ie: I’m scared about this, because if this happens then what if this and that and the other thing…, Or: this scares me because it feels like this other thing that happened and that really hurt when that happened), then we are able to work through the present feeling without it being attached to the past or future.
I try to name the feeling I’m having and recognize where it’s happening in my body, tense shoulders, tight scalp, pain in lower back, sick to my stomach, those sorts of things. Then just let myself feel it, bring my mind back when it starts to panic and just validate and let it process, remembering to take deep breaths and relax as I can. I don’t get it right all the time, but it’s getting easier.
Like, this morning I had a tooth extraction. And then they wanted to take all 3 wisdom teeth instead of one. I’m terrible with changes to plan, and I really panicked. I started shaking really badly, and once I caught the panic I let myself finish shaking and told myself some things that were true: I was afraid it was going to hurt, but they weren’t going to start until I was numb. I wouldn’t feel pain. They know what they’re doing. And it took longer than I would have liked to soothe myself, but I deactivated that fear AFTER letting myself be afraid and process it. Idk, I’m not trying to just ramble here but am saying I can relate, I hope any of this is helpful.