So happy I could cry

I just felt like posting what was on my mind today, this ended up turning into more of a journal entry. I never knew I could have this much control over my life. There are so many things that lead to my poor relationship with food, for starters I grew up in poverty, the kind of poverty that you see about on tv and read about in books, the kind of poverty that it systemic. Growing up in the kind of poverty that I did and in some of the worst food deserts there were no stocked pantry's no raw fruits or vegetables in the fridge. My diet for a large portion of my childhood was whatever I could with whatever money my dad gave me for dinner and as a kid I obviously had no idea of what a balanced diet looked like so I just got what tasted good which ended up with me alternating between Chinese food and and getting myself a stromboli as a kid. Now I am not sure if you know what a stromboli is but its the bastard child of a cheese steak and a calzone. Something I didn't realize at the time is that I was tying my emotions to food, food provided feelings up comfort that I wasn't getting anywhere else, comfort that I desperately needed having as much anxiety being in an environment ravaged by violence and in a household filled with neglect and addiction. Food and the feeling of fullness was my only moments of peace. So needless to say I blew up big time Now as someone in my 30's I am trying to slowly undue all of it, yes I wish I started sooner but I'm glad I've gotten to this point. Seeing the gradual progress through intermittent fasting brings me joy. I have no set timeline on when I'd like to reach my goal weight, but everyday when I can fit something I couldn't fit before, or do something with such ease that I couldn't do before I knew that I am moving in the right direction. Today I put on a shirt that I had just washed and I didn't have to do anything to break the shirt in, it fit loose which is such a pleasant feeling not feeling as if you're bulging at the seams.