I struggle with the same and have done similar things such as you have done in the past. I “dabble into getting serious and don’t and then I finally kick myself in the ass and get my head right and make the decision
It’s all about the WHY. If you don’t have a sufficient reason I can’t imagine success.
But with that said - this 62 year old will tell you that life is a progressive degenerate disease. As we age we continually increase issues and meds to treat those issues. Moderate exercise and Intermittent fasting are the most effective weapons against the trials and tribulations of aging.